upcoming manners theme

Parents,

I am starting to plan a manners theme to work with our Valentines Day festivities in Feb. I would like to know what specifically are your concerns and the manners really focus on at home. Not just meal time manners. Some of the ones that are important here:

Kind words, gentle hands, quiet voices inside and listening and looking at your friends when they are talking to you.

SHARING

Greetings and social norms such as saying "good morning" or "have a nice day". We shake hands (always using our right hand) as we sing our morning song. Telling each other "good job" and clapping and cheering each other on.

As far as table manners which I am a little bit of a stickler for: sitting correctly with our feet down, using nice words and always saying "please" for another serving and "thank you for lunch, Taci". We don't use potty talk or sing at the table. We chew with our mouths quiet and closed. Something else I am REALLY working hard on in particular is keeping food on your plate even if you don't like it. Bread crust is really a trial for them. Also using utencils and not fingers. These are "prince and princess manners". I've heard good feedback so I hope these things are being seen at home from time to time as well. Niki reported that Lilah is putting her hands in her lap to be served and I've seen the kids working hard to "fold their napkins like a present" and throw away leftover snacks by themselves. VERY IMPRESSIVE.

So I really really want to hear: whats important to you, one or two things your child does well, what your child needs work on.

 At my house it's loud chewing or burping out loud- so gross! Rachel if you are reading this, I'll never forget your sis and the licking fingers rule! :D That one is so rude but I catch myself doing it sometimes. Quite honestly I don't think any standard manner should be overlooked and I think we are getting pretty lax as a society. To let a child grow without learning the basics is unfair. Okay strengths and ones to work on:

Amalia: girl can keep her napkin in her lap so well the Fairy Godmother would weep. Unfortunately she is in violation of the bread crust on the table rule almost daily. 

Athan: he never complains about anything I make and he can use a utencil with more precision than any baby I've ever seen... though he isn't one to waste so he makes sure it all gets to the belly! :D although he loves to eat on the rare occasion there is something he doesn't like, he either uses it for art on the table or chucks it which really really really fires me up!

Lets hear yours!! 

Comments

[Laura]

All good ideas for manners! I think this is so important. Working in the sevice industry, I see a lack of manners on a daily basis.....especially from adults! I am glad that you are teaching kids to have good manners! I wish I had something to add, but I love all of your ideas.

[Jeanna]

I would love to know how you teach a child (of any age) how to chew with their mouth shut. This annoys me so much...i've got cows at my dinner table...HeLp

Jeanna (Max's mom)

[taci]

Jeanna,
This made me laugh!I remember when Max and Mia were not even two and they would sit at the table and chop chop chop. Some days I'd turn on the radio to drown them out! Lol!

My advice, just lots of reminders to close mouths when we eat and to chew quietly...
neeeiighhh.... ;D

[jessie]

i'd really like to work on no "potty" talk at ALL times. i lose track of how many times I hear poopy, butt, toot/fart, etc. come out of BOTH of my kid's mouths. occassionally it's funny. but, i'm over it. it's happening WAY TOO MUCH. On a different note, I do enforce manners at all times -- it's polite and respectful!

[taci]

Wow!! Hopefully things are going better now. Great feedback!

I do need to remind some more often that those words belong in the bathroom but that type of humor is appropriate to their age- some days it seems like it's ALL that's funny. At times when we are in a grump slump and I say "stinky" and at least we are back to smiling. So I guess your pointing out that I am guilty of this and sometimes I am.
I heard a lot of this talk again yesterday at lunch, sadly. I just remind the kids when they are at school that this is appropriate talk for the bathroom only. I think it's totally fine for you to make that rule at home, Jessie. Reminding them WHERE it's appropriate (that's toilet talk - we aren't in the bathroom) and WHEN enough is enough seems like an approach that will produce more positive results and not embarrass or hurt feelings. Remember that older kids want to know the WHY's of social norms. You could say "it makes people feel uncomfortable/embarrassed when we talk like that".
We also have been working on "may I please" vs. "I want/gimme". That one drives me totally batty. I think one of the biggest things I've been working on is saying THANK YOU since this theme has been "officially" over. It's so simple but such a foreign concept to children and adults a like.
Manners is not a "theme" that is ever really gone. Just as it is any adult caregivers responsibility to teach why we don't hit people, steal, etc, like you said Jessie-it's polite and respectful to help them learn the right way to communicate with others and keep reminding and reminding...
:)

[jessie]

thanks for the suggestion on "where" it's appropriate to talk about things -- that's toilent talk, etc. i like that!